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Dani's Story/Poetry Writing Check them out, yes? :3

#1 User is offline   PrimaLove Icon

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Posted 17 August 2011 - 04:22 AM

I appreciate comments and critique. I used to HATE poetry until my 12th grade English teacher taught me how poetry was the best way to write out your feelings. Here's a few I wrote

This was for an English project back when I was still in high school
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This one has the same setting as my "Forbidden Love" roleplay/story
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This one is based off two Panty&Stocking OCs ;3
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This one is a little more spiritual.
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A poem describing how I became depressed back when I was younger
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I'll put up more poems later. Now, here's an excerpt from a story I'm writing.
Beginning of "Death's Child" about a woman who bears the child of Death himself
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#2 ddrXero64*

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Posted 17 August 2011 - 04:57 AM

I read these beforehand and we talked.

She is a very advanced poet, kudos. The only other one that seems to have the same level grasp I have (that I've met so far). Love ya Prima~

:P

#3 User is offline   PrimaLove Icon

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Posted 17 August 2011 - 04:59 AM

Thanks ^-^ now tell that to my old high school counselors who never let me be in an AP class

#4 User is offline   PrimaLove Icon

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Posted 21 December 2011 - 09:54 PM

Here's my entry for the Global Focus Competition. I just want some opinion on it before it's submitted. Comments and criticism is appreciated. Thank you.
The theme is Vietnam, in case you were wondering.
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#5 User is offline   MewMew Icon

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Posted 21 December 2011 - 10:16 PM

Your good at writting Dani ><
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#6 User is offline   PrimaLove Icon

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Posted 21 December 2011 - 10:20 PM

Thanks. I just wish I could get some more critique on my poem DX

#7 User is offline   MewMew Icon

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Posted 21 December 2011 - 11:18 PM

I don't see anything wrong with it, but then again im not a writter ><
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#8 User is offline   PrimaLove Icon

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Posted 21 December 2011 - 11:56 PM

Yeah, you gotta see it from a writer's POV. XP

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 08:51 PM

View PostPrimaLove, on 21 December 2011 - 11:00 PM, said:

Here's my entry for the Global Focus Competition. I just want some opinion on it before it's submitted. Comments and criticism is appreciated. Thank you.
The theme is Vietnam, in case you were wondering.
Spoiler



It's really good :)
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#10 User is offline   PrimaLove Icon

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 09:07 PM

Well, I'd like some constructive criticism on it before I submit it.

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 09:10 PM

I haven't posted in a while, but I have been lurking this thread since it started and I got to say, Dani you have the skills to become a award winning author in the future! ^___^
♈♉♊♌♍♎♏♐♑♒♓
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Posted 28 December 2011 - 09:11 PM

Just like Mew, I'm not a writer, but I can't see anything that's wrong with it
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#13 User is offline   PrimaLove Icon

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 09:17 PM

If you see it from a writer's perspective, you'd find TONS of things to improve.

#14 User is offline   Nyx Icon

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 09:20 PM

It's hard to see it from a writer's perspective when you're not a writer :)
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#15 User is offline   PrimaLove Icon

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Posted 28 December 2011 - 09:40 PM

Well, I know there's writer's here. Deadline for contest is coming up. Just someone tell me what could be improved DX

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