[hopeandjoy9]

Why? Because I wanted to practice and it seemed like the perfect language to do it in.

My skills are a little rusty and I just started Latin III on Thursday, so bear with me. Feel free to correct me, though. There were some words and parts that I took a wild guess on after much Googling, dictonary-ing, pulling hair out, ect.

The English that I translated from is under the spoiler.

Spoiler

In a dark, dark corner of the forest
I picked up some red, red fruits.
Surely, this is from God himself,
A wonderful, wonderful present.

Will he be happy if I bring them back?
He'll probably cry from happiness, too.
The moon is very beautiful tonight,
Quickly, quickly, let's head back home.

Because on a dark night like this,
Scary bears will come out.

I've found them, through great pain.
I've found them, at last.
To no-one, to no-one,
Will I ever want to hand them over.

On the forest path where flowers bloom, I run and run.
All the while holding my red fruit close.
If I go back like this, he and I will
Definitely become happy.

But from behind me, making a frightening face.
Was a bear, chasing me.
Please, please forgive me.
Please let me run away.

I knew that. That in fact, these fruits
Are the bear's treasures.

I run, I run and stumble around.
I will not hand over this happiness.
The moon illuminates the bear's form.
The black shadow is advancing upon me.

The right way is already lost,
Even so, I keep running, only merely running.
I cried, the bear cried
The two fruits also cried.

I finally arrived, home sweet home.
He was smiling gently, but
After he saw the fruits I held,
He made a very sad face.

"Listen, our children are already
Not part of this world.
Please return these children
To their own mother's side."

*Screaming*

Unknowingly, the truth, with its fangs and claws
Tore me apart. Even so,
These warm, tender fruits,
I want to keep them no matter what.

God, with my own hands, I have
Committed an unforgivable crime.
"You can still fix it if you do it now."
Though he said this,

"It's no use! Because, already..."

Laying outside our home was
A bear's (a woman's) corpse.
Beside her, a little glass bottle
Filled with milk...

In obscuro, obscuro angulo silvae
Carpsi nonnulla rutila, rutila poma.
Certe, haec est a Deo ipso,
Mirum, mirum donum.

Si porto eos, ille laetus erit?
Lacrimat a laetitia probabiliter quoque.
Luna est pulcherrima nocte.
Cito, cito redamus domum.

Quia in obscura nocte similis hac,
Ursi formidolosi prodient.

Inveni eos, per negotium multum.
Inveni eos, tandem.
Nemini, nemini,
Umquam volam tradere eos.

In silvae limite ubi flores ecflorent, curro et curro,
Dum tenens mea rutila poma prope.
Si redeo similis haec, ille et ego
Certo existemus laeti.

Sed post me, facens formidolosum vultum,
Ursa me secebatur.
Sis, sis ignoscit me.
Sis sinit me fugere...

Scivi. In veritate, haec poma
Sunt ursae thensauri.

Curro, curro et claudo circa.
Non tradam hanc laetitiam.
Luna inlustrat ursae formam.
Nigra umbra aggreditur super me.

Recta via iam dilabitur,
Tamen, currebam, modo modo currit.
Lacrimavi, ursa lacrimavit,
Quoque duo poma lacrimaverunt.

Tandem adveni, domus dulcis domus.
Ille delicate subridebat, sed,
Post viderat poma tenui,
Fecit moestissimum vultum.

"Audi, nostrum liberi sunt iam
Nulla pars huius mundi.
Sis reverte hos liberos
Ad latere verae matris."

*Clamans*

Ignote, veritas, eius morsibus et unguibus,
Me scidit. Tamen,
Horum calida, tenera poma,
Volo attinere quoquo.

Deus, mea propria manu,
Facinum irremessibilem in se admisi.
"Etiam poses emendare si facis id iam."
Etsi ille dixit hunc,

"Sed frustra! Quia, iam..."

Iacens extra nostrum domum erat
Ursae (feminae) cadaver.
Extra eam, brevis vitrea ampulla
Completa lacte...

[aibo7m3]

Don't know how accurate it is since I'm only taking Latin II so I probably know less than you but that is awesome anyways, I've never seen a Vocaloid song translated into Latin before, so cool!

[hopeandjoy9]

Haha, thanks. I was doing a lot of this for a while, so I ended up being one of the faster translators in the class. I guess my fandom was good for something.

Here's Retrospective Music Box, because it's been on my thumb drive for a bit:

Notes: "musica arca" is just a literal translation of "music box" as the Romans had no such thing. That's also why I changed "spring" to "gear". Modern clockwork wasn't invented until the late Middle Ages. "Sponsa" is just a feminine form of "sponsus" because that's the closest term they have. It basically means "a person who has promised (marriage)", but sponsus was really used like we use groom. Could have used "nova nupta", but that means bride...

English translation I based this off of:

Spoiler

A music box with a distorted golden spring
The melody that cannot be played is a love song
A music box that disappeared into the shadow of history
A jewelry box that cannot be opened.

The music box he made
Played more beautiful melodies than anyone else's
People called him "The Spring User (The Clockworker)" with (full) respect

He had a beloved fiancée and a beloved sister
He thanked God saying "I'm a fortunate man"

For the two girls, with all my love,
I'll make a superbly fine music box
Hoping for happier days,
he poured his heart into the music box.

Now the music box will not make music.

In this country, a man with the best magic
Becomes the king and get everything
The candidates chosen as a new ruler are
The Clockworker's fiancée and sister

They have come to get off the track and hate one another
If Magic didn't exist, they could coexist.

The worst consequence
What he saw was the half-made music box dyed with blood
A collapsed girl and a wailing girl
He loved both of them, both of them

Now the music box will not make music.

Where there once was a country there is now ruins.
A crazy old man is making something there.
When travelers ask what he is making,
The old man replies "a music box."

But...
What can be seen is only garbage,
A dirty black box

Musica arca cum dente distortio aureo,
Melos quod non potest cani est amoris cantus.
Musica arca quae evanuit in umbram historiae.
Cista gemmarum quae non potest aperiri.

Musica arca facta est ab eo
Cancinit pulchurius melos quam cuiavis aliae.
Homines appellaverunt eum "Clockworker" observantia soldia.

Habuit sponsam amatam et sororem amatam.
Gratias Deo egit dicens, "Sum vir felix."

"Feminis duabas, amore omne meo,
Faciam musicam arcam magnifice perbonam."
Exspectans dies beatior,
Infudit eum animus in canoram aracam.

Iam musica arca non facient cantum.

In hoc regno, homo qui habet optimam magicam artem,
Decens regem et accipens omnia.
Candidati rectoris novi sunt
Clockworkris sponsa et soror.

Recesserant a semita et inceperunt odisse inter se.
Si magica ars non exstat, poterunt exstare una.

Consecutio pessima erat
Cum viderit musicam arcam semiperfectam tinctam sanguine,
Femina collapsa et femina lacrimans.
Et amavit, amavit ambas…

Iam musica arca non facient cantum.

Ubi olim erat regnum, est iam rudus.
Senex demens facit aliquid ibi.
Ubi viatores rogant, "Quid facis?"
Senex respondet, "Musica arca."

Sed...
Res potest videri est solae quisquiliae,
Arca sordida atra...

[Yuka Kazami]

Latin IV here to help~ I've only looked at your second translation.
You need to check your noun endings, because a lot of them don't match. Also make sure you know the rules for indirect statement.
Personally, I would not use "sponsa" or "amata" I would use something like "virgo" and "cara." There is also a word that means fiancee, "conjux." Similarly, I think that "ornamentum" works better than "gemma" in regards to the music box.

I would use William Whittaker's Words to look up definitions, as it will give you more words to choose from, with other meanings.

[hopeandjoy9]

I do use Words, actually.

Probably a lack of proofreading, honestly.

[hopeandjoy9]

Hey guys. It's Word Play.

Spoiler

Before long I knew the word called "mother"
Before long I remembered the word called "father"
Before long I knew the word called "wind"
Before long I remembered the word called "water"
Before long I knew the word called "together"
Before long I remembered the word called "dreams"

And when I learned the word called "love"
I knew the shape of the world

Yet, what would be the right word
To tell you how I feel right now?
If only to know that simple answer
As best I can, I'll keep
Playing with words

Soon I learned of the word called "lies"
Soon I was taught the word called "pain"
Soon I learned of the word called "crime"
Soon I was taught the word called "punishment"

And when I was taught the word called "evil"
I became aware of the darkness in the world

Yet, what words shall I use
When you cast me aside?
To know what I wish never to know
I'll still keep
Playing with words

Yet, what would be the right word
To tell you how I feel right now?
"Good morning" or "hello" or "thank you" or "goodbye"?
As best as I can, I'll keep
Playing with words

I will always be by your side
I will teach you the words as always

Iamdudum didici vocabulum nomine "mater"
Iamdudum conmemoravi vocabulum nomine "pater"
Iamdudum didici vocabulum nomine "ventus"
Iamdudum conmemoravi vocabulum nomine "aqua"
Iamdudum didici vocabulum nomine "una"
Iamdudum conmemoravi vocabulum nomine "somnium"

Et cum didicerim vocabulum nomine "amor"
Scivi figuram mundi

Atqui, quid sit vocabulum verum
Narrare te quomodo sentio iam?
Si modo noscere illud responsum simplicem
Optime possum, permanebo
Ludens vocabulis

Mox cognovi vocabulum nomine "mendacium"
Mox docta sum vocabulum nomine "dolor"
Mox cognovi vocabulum nomine "scelus"
Mox docta sum vocabulum nomine "poena"

Et cum docta sim vocabulum nomine "malum"
Cognovi caliginem in mundo

Atqui, quae vocabula utar
Cum abicias me?
Scire quid volo numquam scire
Tamen permanebo
Ludens vocabulis

Atqui, quid sit vocabulum verum
Narrare te quomodo sentio iam?
"Salve" an "ave" an "gratias" an "vale"?
Optime possum, permanebo
Ludens vocabulis

Ero semper latere tui
Docebo tibi vocabula tamquam semper

Notes: Not really any, other than assuming the narrator's female.

[Yuka Kazami]

Notes from me? (I'll go in order)

~Where are you getting that translation for "iamdudum?" I'd go with "adhuc," but that's just me.
~"Atqui, quid erit vocabulum verum" "Erit" needs to be subjunctive to mean "would be."
~"Optime possum, permanebo" You should probably have a "tamquam" or "quam" or "ut" to represent "as..." (Then again, I don't know how you've been taught to translate ablatives)
~"Ludere vocabulis" "Ludere" should be "lusus," as "playing" would be a participle.
~"docta sum" Should be "docebar" if you want it imperfect ("I have been taught" vs. "I was being taught")
~"docta sim" Again, this time with pluperfect subjunctives. Imperfect would be "docerer" ("I had been taught" vs. "I was being taught")
~I've never seen "scire" as "become aware." "Cognoscere," maybe instead?
~"utar" Like "erit," this needs to be subjunctive. (You lucked out; you made the same mistake as before, but this form actually is the subjunctive!)
~Change "Cum" to "ubi." A cum is not appropriate there as you are not going into a subjunctive clause. (From what I have been taught)
~"Ludere vocabulis" Same as before
~"Atqui, quid erit vocabulum verum" Same as before.
~I've never seen "an" as "or." What about "aut," "vel," or "seu?"
~"ad latere" "Ad" is not necessary and more of suggests "to your side."

[hopeandjoy9]

Yuka Kazami, on 11 April 2012 - 06:38 PM, said:

Notes from me? (I'll go in order)

~Where are you getting that translation for "iamdudum?" I'd go with "adhuc," but that's just me. From my physical Latin -> English dictionary
~"Atqui, quid erit vocabulum verum" "Erit" needs to be subjunctive to mean "would be." Thanks, I literally had no idea how to translate would.EDIT: and yeah, no future subjuctive.
~"Optime possum, permanebo" You should probably have a "tamquam" or "quam" or "ut" to represent "as..." (Then again, I don't know how you've been taught to translate ablatives) Optime's an adverb? It's meant to be "The best I can".
~"Ludere vocabulis" "Ludere" should be "lusus," as "playing" would be a participle. I was thinking infinitive when I wrote it out but participles make a ton more sense.
~"docta sum" Should be "docebar" if you want it imperfect ("I have been taught" vs. "I was being taught") My Latin teacher taught us that another way to translate perfect passive is "was ___ed". It's less formal, but correct. (it's true of English too. Just ask my English teacher. =P)
~"docta sim" Again, this time with pluperfect subjunctives. Imperfect would be "docerer" ("I had been taught" vs. "I was being taught") See above.
~I've never seen "scire" as "become aware." "Cognoscere," maybe instead? Probably a better word choice.
~"utar" Like "erit," this needs to be subjunctive. (You lucked out; you made the same mistake as before, but this form actually is the subjunctive!) How? There is no future subjunctive.
~Change "Cum" to "ubi." A cum is not appropriate there as you are not going into a subjunctive clause. (From what I have been taught) Yeah, I screwed up my conjugating, thanks.
~"Ludere vocabulis" Same as before
~"Atqui, quid erit vocabulum verum" Same as before.
~I've never seen "an" as "or." What about "aut," "vel," or "seu?" Psychical dictionary says that "an" is or in a question.
~"ad latere" "Ad" is not necessary and more of suggests "to your side." Thanks.

Thanks for your criticism!

Changed the erit to sit because I think you were saying to put it in present subjuctive?

[Yuka Kazami]

hopeandjoy9, on 11 April 2012 - 09:13 PM, said:

Thanks for your criticism!

Changed the erit to sit because I think you were saying to put it in present subjuctive?

Whoops! Thought that I put "sit" there!

For some of the others

"Utar" is present subjunctive.There is no future subjunctive, but in "would" statements you use the present subjunctive because there is no future.

As for tense issues, I was just giving examples of possible translations. It wasn't my intent for you to take it literally LOL.

[hopeandjoy9]

It just occurred to me that I may have screwed up the time line! Oh well.

Full Moon Laboratory

Spoiler

You, wiggling at the bottom of the flask,
Begin here as the sacrifice for this ceremony
The solid inside the liquid is growing quieter
If there are a lot of samples, then that’s good

Before they disappeared, they said,
“I can’t return here anymore.
You must continue with your experiment.”

On the night of the full moon, the experiment begins
The smell of reagent drives my heart mad
False verification, a calculation of theory
I destroy something, and make something else

Joining the two, they become one
But that doesn’t mean it will be worth twice as much
I continue experimenting to make
The one thing I really want to obtain

Because I still haven’t forgotten
The words I remembered first,
Next is my turn to teach a new song

On a night of the crescent moon, the experiment is not yet over
This white lab coat is growing redder
Surveying the target, denying common sense
I destroy something, and destroy again

That person wanted to create me
This time, I will create that person

Someday, I’ll begin to play that game
Because I’ll always be here, won’t I?

Tu, torquens in ima lagena,
Incipis hic ut hostia caerimoniae.
Solida res in umore fit quietior.
Si erit multum exempla, erit bonus.

Ante illa evanuit, dixit:
“Non possum revenire hic diutius.
Pergenda es tui experimentum.”

Nocte pleniluni, experimentum incipit.
Odor reagentis compellit animum mei ad insania.
Confirmatio falsa, conputatio theoriae
Ruo aliquid, et facio aliud.

Coniungens duos, decent unus.
Sed non dicit eum futurus esse dignum bis tantum.
Permaneo pertentans facere
Rem unam volo veraciter obtinere.

Quod non dedidici
Vocabulum quem conmemoravi prius,
Tum est mei occasio docere cantum novum.

Nocte lunae lunatae, experimentum est nondum perfectum.
Hoc amiculum laboratorii rubescit.
Circumspicens destinatum, negans intellectum
Ruo aliquid, et ruo iterum.

Illa voluit facere me.
Haec occasion, ego facio illam.

Aliquando, incipiam ludere illum ludum
Quod ero simper hic, erone?

Notes:
*Illa, because I am convinced that "that person" is Elluka.
*Yes, I just stuck a third declension ending on "regent". Don't judge me, there's no equivalent Latin word.
*Lol, how do I translate that second verse?
*Ego is in "ego facio illam" for emphasis.
*Yeah, no idea if "erone?" is the right way to translate "won't I?"

[hopeandjoy9]

Tale of Moonlit Abandonment

Spoiler

Mother
What kind of fortune will come to us on this path?
Over there
Will we be able to eat lots
Of our favorite snacks?

Father
Will God be waiting for us down this path?
Why
Are you looking at us with such a sad face?

In the midst of the dark forest
We truly understood everything.
If we keep on going
We will never be able to return.

We were left by ourselves,
Like Hansel and Gretel
By the faint light of the great moon,
We do not even know the way home.

We are walking, wandering and walking.
There is no reason to not hold hands.
The moon shines on the little glass bottle
The glittering light illuminates the path

Even if this is the right path,
We do not know, only, merely walking.
Finally, we have found it. We know this place.
This is the witch's home.

Come, let's finish off the evil witch,
Throw her in a burning oven.
If she isn't around, we will definitely
Become happy.

Hey Mother, praise me
I defeated the evil witch.

Hey Father, praise me
I've defeated her henchman as well.

Nevertheless
This is a good place to settle.
It feels as if, long ago
We used to live here.

Come, let's go see our "real" mother and father.

Mater,
Qualis fors veniet ad nobis in hoc itinere?
Trans ibi
Poterimusne edere multa
Ciborum dilectorum nostrum?

Pater,
Eritne Deus expectans nos in hoc itinere?
Cur
Vides nos tale triste vultu?

In medio silvae obscurae
Veraciter intelleximus omnes.
Si permanebimus ambulare
Poterimus numquam redire.

Relicti sumus
Sicut Hansel et Gretel.
Apud lucem pallidam lunae magnae
Ne scimus quidem viam ad domu.

Ambulamus, errantes et ambulantes.
Est nulla causa non tenere manus.
Luna radiat in ampulla paula vitrea.
Splendens lux illuminat viam.

Etsi haec est via vera,
Non scimus, modo modo ambulantes.
Tandem invenimus eam. Scimus hunc locum.
Est magae domus.

Iam, peragamus magam malam,
Iace eam in furnum ardentem.
Si erit mortua, certo
Fiemus laeti.

Ohe mater, lauda me.
Vici magam malam.

Ohe pater, lauda me.
Vici eium adjutorem quoque.

Nihilominus
Hic est locus bonus habitare.
Sentimus quasi, iamdudum
Solebamus habitare hic.

Iam, visamus nostrum “veros” matrem et patrem.

NOTES:
*No idea how to get the "by ourselves" across, so I left it as "we were left".
*No idea how the euphemism of "not being around" is translated, so I went more direct.
*"Now" instead of "Come", because it's the same general idea, and saa/come doesn't really mean you're commanding someone to come here.

[hopeandjoy9]

Chrono Story

Spoiler

Do I hear the birds singing?
No, it’s the cry of the forest.
Do I see the moon shining?
No, it’s just the flames burning.

The woman we once called our “mother”
Burned to ashes inside the fireplace.
She left behind the “original sin”
Which we split into seven pieces.

Lust, the flower
Gluttony, the seed
Pride, the stone
Envy, the spring
Sloth, the wind
Greed, the soil
And…
Wrath, the forest

Rise, seven sins
The filth created by the false mother
Keep turning, world
Please cleanse the deadly sins

The hands of the forbidden fruit
Unleashed the seven sins on the world.
Tree of Eldoh, the guardian of the forest
Requested an old friend to collect them all.

“I don’t mind as long as it keeps me entertained.”
“I have unlimited time anyway,”
Sneered the sorceress.

After losing her loved one
And destroying what was precious,
Eternity given to her
Only brought feelings of emptiness.

The sorceress who once obtained everything and lost it all –
What does she hope for?
What does she desire?
At the end of time…

The story of the sin, born and raised by a woman
Then spilt into seven pieces,
The whims of the witch who transcends time,
Beginning from the forest, this is the Chrono Story.

Audione aves cantantes?
Minime, est clamor silvae.
Videone lunam radiantem?
Minime, est modo flammae ardentes.

Femina quam olim appellavimus nostrum “matrem”
Arsit in cineres intro focum.
Reliquit “peccatum primitivum”
Quod scindimus in septem partes.

Luxuria, flos
Gula, semen
Superbia, lapis
Invidia, fons
Acedia, ventus
Avaritia, humus
Et…
Ira, silva

Surgete, septem peccata
Sordes facta est a matre falsa
Permane circumagens, mundus
Sis expurga peccata caputale

Manus pomorum impermissorum
Solverunt septem peccata in mundo
Arbor Eldi, genius silvae
Efflagitavit amicam bonam conligere omnem

“Non fero aegre dum oblectat me.”
“Habeo etatem infinitam utique.”
Risit pharmaceutria.

Post amittendum amantem eum
Et perdendum quam erat caram
Aeternitas data ei
Modo tulit affectiones vanitatis

Pharmaceutria quae olim adepta est et amisit omnem –
Quid expectat?
Quid desiderat?
Ad fine temporis…

Fabula peccati, natum est et educatum est ab una femina
Tum scissum est in septem partes,
Arbitria magae quae superat etatem,
Incipens e silva, est Fabula Temporis.

Next: The Madness of Duke Venomania

That'll be an... interesting one to translate. >_<