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I must ask: What's wrong with being a virgin/celibate?

#16 User is offline   Pipcard Icon

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 03:49 AM

View PostAlphonse, on 07 January 2012 - 07:44 PM, said:

...honestly, I don't know what you're even talking about. XD I have never heard anyone call virgins losers outside of TV. Very rarely has someone called me a loser for being a virgin. And I have never, ever met anyone who thought sex was the most important thing in life. Also, if you're asexual, then shouldn't you not even want to have sex because of the fact that you're asexual? It's not like "Sheesh, with all this pressure, now I don't even want to!" If you're really asexual, why were you even interested? Because of all glamour and hype surrounding it or something...? Sorry, I don't understand these types of things...

Also, you seem to think that if a person has sex, his immediate, conscious goal must be to reproduce and if that's not his goal, he's shallow or immoral or something. They made condoms and birth control for a reason. I can't pull any study or statistic out of my ass and it's not as if I'd know from experience, but I'd say most people have sex because it's fun. If anyone bugs you about being a virgin, instead of saying you're not interested in sex (which will make you sound like you secretly are but have no luck), say you're asexual. That's a valid, permanent reason.


Just changed it to only "celibate". I once wanted to have a wife and kids, now I don't. (don't want the commitment and responsibilities)
I don't want to reproduce either.

Okay, I'm tolerant of people who have sex for pleasure as long as they don't flaunt about their sex lives in my face.

#17 User is offline   Wiguan Icon

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 04:19 AM

Nothing wrong with virgin.
It's just mean you never have sex.

Don't rush it.
Good luck.
Regards

@PangeranWiguan

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#18 User is offline   Sypher Icon

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 05:56 AM

Imo not getting laid isn't the end of the world i've known some people that really do keep their virginity till marriage. So don't care what people say believe what you want to believe

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 06:48 AM

Ok, for one like everyone else not getting laid isn't the end of the world.
I don't believe it's a media thing like some people have said. It's more of an adulthood thing. Sadly it's just one of the things that people feel you can do early, if you can do it earlier it makes you one more step closer to it. Sort of like having a job at a young age, you proven yourself to be able to take the responsibility to work. With sex it proved you, A. you found a girl that truly loves you and is willing to be one step closer to connecting with you, or B. you're some smooth talking mofo that was able to talk a girl into it. If you're hanging around people that are making fun of you for being a virgin then maybe you shouldn't be hanging around with people like that. True friends will except you for who you are and not because you put your dick in a girl.
and one more thing

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 10:53 AM

I must answer: nothing.

And apologies if that comes across witty in a rude way, but anyone who even considers "yes" as a legitimat answer, even in the slightest, does not sit well with me. Maybe it's the title of the topic you chose and the way you phrased it. But if that's really the question you were posing, then the answer is nothing.

If you were discussing the idea of virginity as it relates to society, I can add to that topic. It's also 6 am, I could be a little too blunt and grouchy and not see it. :blink:

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 11:31 AM

You have had sex, you have not have sex, can you tell me where's the big difference because I can't see it..
It's weird that how many teens are distressed and hurrying to loose their virginity. Like it's better to lose at 10 years old than 20. I'm soon 17 and I'm not interested in getting a boyfriend or worried about my virginity. When I was 14 years old, drunk & teen & cool, it was close and next day I felt just dirty and ugly. Why should I hurry to feel even worse? I prefer to be 30 and have sex first time with a man I really like than lose my virginity now with a temporary vocational school-boyfriend. 8|
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#22 User is offline   Snapplemonkey Icon

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 12:17 PM

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, next question?

Seriously though, the "jock" phenomenon that populates most of North American pre-college society originated this stigma. Due to the high amount of persecuted puritans when the continent was first colonized there was this enormous pressure towards the "men work and women stay at home" idea. This eventually turned into the whole "your not a man if you can't perform (not just sexually)", and all these idealism of how men should be generated an enormous amount of homophobic behavior, which made parents put pressure on their children to perform well in school to appear manly. So boys had to do manly stuff like sports and other similar activities which created the whole "jock" category in the first place. Now this pressure put on school kids by their parents ends up making a lot of them lie or become very vocal about their sexual life as to add to their manly repertoire and due to insecurities generated by previously mentioned pressure from parents, they end up making fun of the other boys who are not so vocal about their sexual lives.

Now I'm not saying this is a problem only in North America, all of these issues mentioned generated due to Christianity (not saying religion is bad, but it does have its side-effects), but due to the puritan nature of the settlers who originally colonized North America it's much more rampant there.

Here's is my opinion on all this (including your original statement):

Sex is good. It feels good, both during and after. But this is due to how our body is programmed, we are programmed to seek out sex and enjoy sex. Sure we have a brain that can ignore some of the pre-programmed functions, and certain traumas or fears can override these urges. But I tell you right now, there is nothing more comforting than laying with someone you like. I'm not trying to put pressure on you to have sex, but I find it extremely frustrating that you criticize something that you have no experience in, there is a term for that and that term is "ignorant". I'm not attacking you, I'm just stating facts. It is your choice to stay a virgin and I have no right to judge, hell I even respect that.

Now in response to some of the other comments in here. It is my honest opinion that having more experience, knowledge and self-esteem than others does make you better than them. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept that everyone deserves the same respect, but you can still be better than other people. Sex is an experience, you learn from that experience about yourself and other people. I will however add that being a virgin longer than the standard amount of time gives you a unique perspective on life but I believe it is an inferior one. We humans are social creatures, we learn more and thrive in social environments. Abstaining from having sex is one way of cutting yourself from a deep and meaningful connection with other people.

Wow looks like I rambled for a while there, just to mention this again this post has no ill-will towards anyone in this thread, and it was not my intention to attack anyone and I apologize if it appears that way.
Anyway, live your lives like you want to, but don't be afraid to experience new things ^^
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Posted 08 January 2012 - 12:37 PM

View PostSnapplemonkey, on 08 January 2012 - 12:23 PM, said:


Sex is good. It feels good, both during and after. But this is due to how our body is programmed, we are programmed to seek out sex and enjoy sex. Sure we have a brain that can ignore some of the pre-programmed functions, and certain traumas or fears can override these urges. But I tell you right now, there is nothing more comforting than laying with someone you like. I'm not trying to put pressure on you to have sex, but I find it extremely frustrating that you criticize something that you have no experience in, there is a term for that and that term is "ignorant". I'm not attacking you, I'm just stating facts. It is your choice to stay a virgin and I have no right to judge, hell I even respect that.

^. If you get a strong temptation to have sex with someone you like or love, you don't really think about y'know, the whole virgin thing. You just do it. It's how our brains work. =/ It's not to reproduce, no, it's because it feels good and gives you an awesome boost during and after. There's birth control pills and condoms for a reason.

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#24 User is offline   Byakuren Icon

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 02:05 PM

What's wrong with being a virgin?
Nothing.

It's your body, your life, your choice. You do what you want with your body, not what the media or others want. If you want to wait it out and have sex with a certain person, good. If you don't want sex at all? Also good. In the end it just comes down to your own personal feelings on the matter. I'd say to ignore the media, since it's well...the media.

If the media told everyone to jump off of a cliff would you actually go do that? Of course not. (or at least...I hope not.)

Media ruins a lot of things and cuases ridiculous amounts of peer pressure and expectations on people in society, which is why I tend to ignore it. (Example; the ridiculous skinny models media shoves in everyone's faces making them think that's 'healthy', when it really is not.)
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Posted 08 January 2012 - 02:14 PM

View PostByakuren, on 08 January 2012 - 10:11 PM, said:

If the media told everyone to jump off of a cliff would you actually go do that?


Media : Wanna jump off that cliff over there? (ノゝ∀・)~
♪ :
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#26 User is offline   Misaokawaii Icon

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 06:37 PM

Also one more thing!
If you stay a virgin till you're 30 you will become a wizard.
so yea stay a virgin dude!
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Posted 08 January 2012 - 06:42 PM

View PostByakuren, on 08 January 2012 - 08:11 AM, said:

Media ruins a lot of things and cuases ridiculous amounts of peer pressure and expectations on people in society, which is why I tend to ignore it. (Example; the ridiculous skinny models media shoves in everyone's faces making them think that's 'healthy', when it really is not.)


Also that some people believe that what the media gives them is pure fact not giving the people something to actually base their own opinion on or do the research themselves to prove it.

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 07:09 PM

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We humans are social creatures

There's one thing I disagree with. I think real-life socialization (i.e. hanging out) is boring and the only socialization I do is on forums. It's just who I am.

Wait... I'll post this on my older thread

"What's wrong (with having little-to-no social life?)"

#29 User is offline   Snapplemonkey Icon

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 07:59 PM

View PostPipcard, on 08 January 2012 - 08:15 PM, said:

There's one thing I disagree with. I think real-life socialization (i.e. hanging out) is boring and the only socialization I do is on forums. It's just who I am.

Wait... I'll post this on my older thread

"What's wrong (with having little-to-no social life?)"


I never said it had to be face to face socializing. Online social lives are just as valid.
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#30 User is offline   Minato Icon

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 09:37 PM

Oh wow. I'm glad there are people around who think the same way I do orz; I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin. Heck, I'm almost 20 and still a virgin. Why? Because I'm choosing to wait until marriage. I want to save it for someone I really, really care about. I've had people ask me how I could still be a virgin at 19 :/ It's so stupid that people think you're ugly/a loser/stuck-up if you're a virgin.

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