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I'm a modern man

A man for the millennium
Digital and smoke free

A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect

I've been uplinked and downloaded
I've been inputted and outsourced
I know the upside of downsizing
I know the downside of upgrading

I'm a high tech lowlife
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker
And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond

I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer
Voice activated and biodegradable

I interface from a database
And my database is in cyberspace
So I'm interactive
I'm hyperactive
And from time-to-time
I'm radioactive

Behind the eight ball
Ahead of the curve
Riding the wave
Dodging a bullet
Pushing the envelope

I'm in the moment
On the edge
Over the top
But under the radar

A high concept
Low profile
Medium range ballistic missionary
A street-wise smart bomb
A raging workaholic
A working rageaholic

You can't shut me up
You can't dumb me down
'Cause I'm tireless
And I'm wireless

I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever
Laid back but fashion forward

Up front
Down home
Low rent
High maintenance

Super size
Long lasting
High definition
Fast acting
Oven ready
And built to last

My output is down
But my income is up
I take a short position on the long bond
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow

A fully equipped
Factory authorized
Hospital tested
Clinically proven
Scientifically formulated medical miracle

I've been pre-washed
Pre-cooked
Pre-heated
Pre-screened
Pre-approved
Pre-packaged
Post-dated
Freeze-dried
Double-wrapped
Vacuum-packed
And I have an unlimited broadband capacity

I take it slow
I go with the flow
I ride with the tide
I got glide in my stride

Drivin' and movin'
Sailin' and spinnin'
Jivin' and groovin'
Wailin' and winnin'

I party hearty
And lunch time is crunch time

I'm hanging in
There ain't no doubt
And I'm hanging tough
Over and out